Ms. Sue Has No Clue is the ninth book in the My Weirder School Series.
Alexia's mom, Ms. Sue, leads the kids of Ella Mentry Elementary School in the weirdest fundraiser in the history of the world.
The book begins with AJ saying that he hates dead fish. He is okay with living fish, but he doesn't like dead ones. One day at school, Mr. Klutz comes in wearing a cap that says HATS on it. When the kids ask why the cap says HATS on it, he explains that HATS stands for Helping All to Succeed and tells the kids that next month would be the annual school carnival and that he's planning to raise five thousand dollars so that the school can buy new playground equipment. AJ and his friends suggest weird ways to do so, but Mr. Klutz tells them that he's looking for a parent who will volunteer to be in charge of fundraising at the carnival. Alexia says that her mom, Sue, is a professional fundraising expert but she doesn't want her to volunteer. Mr. Klutz decides to call Ms. Sue because she could be a big help.
The next day, Ms. Sue accepts Mr. Klutz's offer. When Ms. Sue comes in, Alexia hides under her desk. Ms. Sue tells the kids about her fundraising ideas. She suggests that they might earn more than just five thousand dollars and be able to afford new things for the school. Alexia tells AJ that her mom got fired from her job because she tends to go overboard a lot. Ms. Sue then explains that she'll record the money that school raises on a giant thermometer. The next month, everyone gets ready for the school carnival.
On the day of the carnival, AJ and his friends rush into the playground, Ms. Sue welcomes them and Mr. Klutz deals with them that if they raise five thousand dollars, he will spend a night in jail. AJ walks around the carnival to see what the teachers are selling. Miss Holly has an estimation jar, which AJ guesses that there are "a hundred million gumballs" in the jar. Mr. Tony holds a "goating booth" and explains that if someone pays fifty dollars, he won't put a goat onto their front lawn. Mr. Louie is running a kissing booth. Mr. Docker runs a booth that has people kiss a toad for one dollar. Ms. Coco holds a booth that has people bob for watermelons instead of apples. AJ and his friends go play water balloon toss. When AJ finally hits the target, he wins a goldfish, which he names Fishy T. Fish. Then AJ and his friends go play other games at the carnival. When AJ and his friends wait in line to play shuffleboard, AJ realizes that he accidentally forgot to feed Fishy T Fish and that the fish is dead. Andrea tells AJ that she looked up in an encyclopedia that goldfish don't last very long. AJ asks Ms. Sue if he can have another goldfish, but Ms. Sue tells him that he will have to pay one dollar for it. So AJ decides to not accept Ms. Sue's offer.
AJ decides to play a few more games with his friends until Ms. Sue announces that it's time for a bingo game. Ms. Sue welcomes the players to Cow Pie Bingo and introduces them to a cow named Mr. Moo. Ms. Sue explains how the game works:The players get to buy one square of the field for twenty dollars. if Mr. Moo poops on a square, the player wins a hundred dollars and the rest of the money goes to the school. Eventually, Mr. Moo poops on a square and the winner gets his picture taken with Mr. Moo. After Cow Pie Bingo comes the Big Car Smash. Miss Lazar tows in an old car and allows people to smash the car with a sledgehammer for one dollar. AJ tries to get in line, but Ms. Sue tells them that for safety reasons, only adults are allowed to participate in the car smash and not children. Just about all the adults pay for a turn to hit the car with a sledgehammer. After the car smash comes Toilet Seat Toss, which is like horseshoes, but with toilet seats. When AJ finds out that the prize is a goldfish, he decides not to play it. Ms. Sue then announces a beauty pageant. Andrea says that beauty pageants disrespect women, and Ms. Sue says that there are men in the beauty pageant instead of women. Mr. Docker, Mr. Loring, Mr. Macky, Mr. Louie, Mr. Granite, Dr. Brad, Mr. Tony, and Mr. Harrison are the contestants. After the beauty pageant, people haul giant pumpkins across the soccer field. Then comes donkey basketball, a Dress Your Pet contest, a teacher tug of war, a mud-wrestling contest for adults, a dunk tank, and a bug-eating contest.
Just as people start to leave the carnival, Ms. Sue asks them to buy a piece of duct tape to tape Mr. Klutz to the wall. Everyone does just that. Ms. Sue announces that for fifty cents, people can throw balls at Mr. Klutz. But the school is seven hundred dollars short of five thousand. But then Ms. Sue announces that she is writing a personal check for seven hundred dollars and that the money will come out of Alexia's college fund. Mr. Klutz tells Ms. Sue that it may not be a good idea to raid her daughter's college fund. Ms. Sue tries to give Mr. Klutz the fund, but Mr. Klutz refuses. But just then, a black limousine comes in and Mayor Hubble arrives and donates one thousand dollars to the carnival. Everyone is glad that Mayor Hubble saved the carnival, but as the carnival starts to get taken down, two policemen come, free Mr. Klutz, and tell him that he's under arrest for stealing money from the school carnival, but Mr. Klutz tries to prove that he didn't steal any money. But the money has been stolen by Mayor Hubble, so AJ immediately gives chase. Mr. Hubble knocks over the thermometer, which spills the gumball container, which makes Ms. Sue land in a box full of goldfish, and Mr. Moo gets loose and rams into the dunk tank, which makes everyone panic. Mayor Hubble immediately escapes. Then AJ thinks of the things that happened previously in the book and wonders what might happen next.